you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
