idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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