Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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