What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
the raccoons are back...
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