All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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