"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
