You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
