yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
