he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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