I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
40s are totally the cure
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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