Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
