does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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