Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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