careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
