sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize