she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
