Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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