So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
