and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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