it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
