YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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