is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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