You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
