wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
