Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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