it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
