Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
