it's like russian roulette but with a penis
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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