so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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