I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
