Please, let me fuck your mom
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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