you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
