Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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