I think I am morally bankrupt
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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