Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
