I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
