i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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