we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
