There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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