It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
