he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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