she was so not down for the gang bang
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
