My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
