Whod you bang
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
