D3 body, D1 cock
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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