Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
soo... how was my night?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
