i would punch a child for taco bell
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
