Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Everything about him screamed your future.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize