i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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