I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Jerry, you need to find god
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
