covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just found puke in my bra..
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
