Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
