i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
