Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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