What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
