Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
