I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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