is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
