we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Girls should come with a carfax report
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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