We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
