I am midnight drunk by noon
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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