The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
