that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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